An Interesting Dichotomy

Well, yesterday was Andrew’s last day in the Islamic Maghreb. So we went out to eat and, more importantly, indulge in one last round of damaging our livers. And I think we did an exemplary job of it. We went to a seafood place I’ve been to before, which has really great fish and shellfish. But when we went to pay, suddenly the waiter engages in this elaborate shell game, counting and recounting our money. Over the course of this, about 70 DH disappear down the front of his apron. He must have thought we were idiots, or supremely wasted, but we called him on it and then sat around talking for a half hour just to make it harder for him to rip off other people.

Anyway, that was upsetting. But today I took a cab to the university, and the cab driver starts asking me about my family. Where are they, what do they do, etc. Anyway, as I am getting out, he says that it’s not good for the spirit to be so far away from family, and invites me to his house for Couscous. Now I am aware that he may have been trying to rip me off or lure me somewhere, so I didn’t agree, but it seemed pretty on the level.

Why can’t people either be all cool or all jerks? It’s really hard to deal with when there’s jerks one day and cool folk the next.

Someone mail me a gun

Note to the various security services: that headline is a joke.

Anyway.

So, at the same time, my television, telephone, and internet broke. I mean simultaneously. I think perhaps my place is haunted. Anyway, I went yesterday to get the internet repaired. At the store, he said go to the one on Rue D’anfa. On Rue D’anfa, they said go to a place near the twin center. When I got there, they were closed. So I went to day. I walked in and waited an hour, then a guy came out and said there’s nothing wrong with it, I should just go to a meditel store and get the SIM card changed. So I went to one and they told me to go to the place I bought it. I went there, again, and the guy flipped out.

So yeah, I’m tired and angry. I can’t wait to see how much fun it will be to get the TV looked at.

On the other hand I saw, for the first time in Morocco, someone flip someone else off today. Ha!

I Think I Figured it Out

First, a round of applause for Elrond and Kathy, who have been sending me episodes of Lost. Second, let me complain about lost. The first season was a masterpiece. The second season was all right, but there was a plot arc (Charlie trying to baptize Claire’s baby) that I didn’t like. The third season was sweet as all get out- there weren’t as many mysteries, and they started answering old mysteries rapidly and without much flair, but still. Jack botching the Surgery? Eko refusing to repent to the smoke monster? Sweet.

But season four has not been so good. It’s a big confusing bloodbath. Seriously. There’s a group of survivors on the beach, one with Lock at The Barracks, one on the freighter, as well as freighter people on the island and the surviving Others going to the temple. That’s just hard to keep track of. And even though we’re on episode 9 or so, there’s been something like 2 dozen out right murders. I don’t mind main characters getting killed off. I mean Boone, Shannon, Ana-Lucia, Libby, and Charlie were all killed, but they went out with some style. It was done right. Karl, Alex, and Rousseau were just freaking shot. Standing up to laying down, just like that. Maybe I’m the only one that really, really though Karl was awesome.

Background characters have died before too, but it was always fairly reasonable. One here, one there. In the last episode of season three 10 Others are killed (including at least 3 I liked)? And since then at at least three survivors and five freighter crew get greased? Dude, weak. I liked Lost back in the day because it was a mystery show with a sci-fi edge. Now it’s a bloodbath with a grisly edge. If I wanted to see people getting wiped out left and right, I’d just watch the news. Ugh.

Oh well, here’s to hoping for the future.

I Think This is a Joke About Air Quality

A man goes into a doctor’s office. The Doctor takes some XRays and comes back “Sir,” He says, “You only have six months to live! Your lungs are in terrible shape. Why did you smoke so much?”

The man says “I don’t smoke! I live in Casablanca.”

The doctor thinks for a minute, and then says, “Well I guess it’s more like four months.”

Hillbilly Joke

So a father and son are driving down the road in their pickup truck, the back of which is laden with oranges to sell in the market in Oujda. The son decides he wants to eat one, so he sticks his hand out the window and tries to reach back. But his arm is too short and he can’t quite reach the oranges. “Don’t worry, son.” Says the father. He slows to a stop, puts the truck in reverse, and starts backing up. “Okay,” he says, “try it now.”

If I Had a Thousand Mouths, They’d All be Cursing the Travel Industry

BLARGHHHH!

Ahem. So I’m trying to plan for going to Italy this summer for a conference. No problem, right? Go there, go back? IS WRONG! The travel industry seems to prefer the following plan: Go there, never return. Seriously, I fly to Frankfurt, wait 6 hours, and then on to Verona. On the way back, the best I can do is fly to Frankfurt or Barcelona, wait 40 HOURS, then fly to Fes, then get on a 5 hour train. Dude. Weak. Weak weak weak.

Also, surprise! Apparently, airlines aren’t allowed to share airports. For instance, I can get to, say, Barcelona easy enough on, say, Ryan Air. But no other airlines fly out of there. I can’t get to Barcelona on Ryan air, then go Barcelona to Morocco on, say, ValuJet. BLARG BLARG BLARG BLARG.

An Open Letter

When we were in Tunisia, the guy in charge asked if we had any suggestions for the future. I didn’t think of it at the time, but in retrospect, giving people name tags would have been awesome. In fact, Scuba guy and I dictated a letter that we were going to send. For some reason it made me poo myself laughing when I had it complete:

“Dear Monster Mash, Scuba guy and I have been talking and we think that name tags would be a good idea next year. Rennaisance Fair, Donkeydong, and Gorilla Ankles agree. Thank you, Celery Neck.”

الله أكبر

Everyone who ate a kilo of fresh cherries today, at the cost of only $2, raise your red, sticky, cherry-juiced stained hand.

What? Nobody? Oh wait! There’s me! Delicious.

As long as I spend the day not thinking about science, it turns out that every moment in Morocco is awesome. On an unrelated note, when I went to the big open air market, I asked the guy for a kilo of cherries. I said “يمكن شي الكيلو د حبب لملوك؟” The guy paused, turned to me and, in English, asked “”How long did you live in Fes?” I wonder if it’s because I have an accent, or because maybe they don’t call cherries Hbb lmlook here? Or maybe he saw my F-Town Forever tatoo.

Actually Friday has Started off Kind of Sucky

So remember how I went to Tunis? A lot of other people are going to Jordan, and their plane left at ass-early in the morning this morning. So five of them ask if they can stay at my place the night before, rather than leaving at 1am from their respective towns. Instead they got to leave at 4am. Good deal, right? So they come over and we go out to eat, and everyone settles in. I sleep on the floor in the kitchen. Anyway, around 6am I hear the one young lady speculate that I had them over so I could peep on them in the shower. My apartment’s not that big.  How did she think I wouldn’t hear? Bullshit. And the worst part is that I didn’t actually do any peeping! I spent four weeks drilling that hole and then didn’t use it. Dude, weak.

The University is closed again today.

A month ago when I made hot sauce, I had some extra that wouldn’t fit in the bottle. So I put it in a coffee mug. Guess which mug still has a residue of capasicum! Guess what happens when you take a big swig of hot tea laced with hot pepper juice!

I wonder what wonders saturday has in store for me!

May Day M’aider

I wake up this morning and do what I always do - mumble a stream of obscenities at the roof and check my email in my underpants. I mean, while wearing underpants. I don’t, you know, keep my email inside a pair of underpants.

Anyway there’s a letter from Higher Up telling me there are going to be marches for May Day, which apparnetly is some sort of Communist holiday, and to stay off of certain streets in case of bad traffic. I think nothing of it, and go down to the university. Now you know that I occasionally worry about my project, but I spent all day yesterday reading and planning so that today would be a productive day. Surprise! University is closed! Damn May Day.

On the way back I noticed that the supermarkets are also all closed. And then a convoy of 50-something white buses filled with men in green hats goes by. I assume they were going to a march.

Anyway, I think even the very air over here is trying to sabotage me.