Update about Revell!

The mean woman asked a guy to look into it for me. Today I got this:

“Since you did not specify a kit number we have no way of knowing which P61 Black Widow model you’re referring to. While instructions are being added to our website, the P61 has not been added at this time and is not in our PDF files.”

There then follows an exact duplicate of the email that the woman sent me. I guess it’s a form letter they send automatically when they get requests? If so, Revell, re-word that letter to sound less dickish. I don’t care if you want proof of purchase to send me a set of instructions. I care that you haven’t apologised for not including them in the first place. If I wanted someone to talk to me like I’m an asshole, I’d call my ex-girlfriend. Or go to the DMV. Or a Walmart.

Is there really such a huge market for duplicate copies of instructions anyway? How big of a burden could a request like this be? Do they get a lot of them? Are they, apparently, all fraudulent? And if you don’t have them in PDF format, how do you print the ones you include with the kit? Are the instructions inscribed in granite someplace? Perhaps they were hand-drawn and you have but one copy? That you apparently aren’t allowed to Xerox and mail on over here?

Oh. And for the record, one way to tell the kit number would be ask me, rather than telling me ‘there’s no way to know.’ Except that apparently your time is super valuable and you don’t need to, you know, be bothered servicing customers. Or be polite.

If I ever have an alternative to Revell, by lord I’ll buy that. I might start putting together model cars instead of model airplanes just so I don’t have to put up with this bullshit.

 

A note to the people at Revell

So, I find myself with an abundance of free time, as there are no pubs within walking distance of my new place. At the local craft store, where I was buying picture frames, I was startled to see an entire aisle filled with plastic model kits: mostly cars, but some aeroplanes. I decided that, for the first time since I was 12, I’d get one.

I’ve had a lot of fun putting it together, but there have been some substantial shortcomings. The kit was for a P61 black widow, a twin-boom fighter from the end of WWII. First: the kit came without the first page of instructions. The first instruction I have is “take the cockpit you assembled on the previous page and glue it into the hull.” I also suspect the page with where to put all the decals is missing. Revell has many PDFs of instructions for free on its site: I emailed them and asked for the P61 plans, as they weren’t listed. I was informed that spare parts required proof of purchase in a rather snitty email. After replying I need data, not parts, they forwarded the email to their technical department. But still, that was the pissiest email I’ve gotten in a long time.

So, the plane. It’s hard to say what issues are due to my lack of skill, the design, or to lack of the instructions. I actually looked up photos of the real-live airplane on the internet to figure out how to assemble to cockpit, which was sort of fun and sort of… not. Oh! The three crewmen are about 200% too large to actually fit in the plane. What am I supposed to do with them? Pose them outside in some sort of airfield tableau? There’s also, for reasons that defy logic, two extra peices that form a barrel. I assume this is set dressing for the tableau?

So, they give you decals for nose art, but, the nose of the plane swings open to reveal the radar setup inside. But if you want to add the nose art, it crosses the seam between the nosecone and the hull, so your naked dame’s legs will get torn off the first time you move it.  A landing gear mudflap quite clearly seen in the photo on the box is not mentioned in the instructions. Also, the plane is so tail-heavy that it needs a clear rod cemented to its underside to have it stand up straight.

Overall, I’ve had a gas putting it together. It came out much better than the ones I did as a child, though I still made some sloppy mistakes. Because I used too little glue (in an effort to avoid overdoing it as I always did in days past) the hull and the tail booms aren’t held together very well, and have a pretty obvious seam.

I’ll probably make more, but that pissy email from the Revell folks makes me wish I had an alternative brand to try. Oh! And the store only has allied WWII aircraft. I guess I shan’t make two and hang them up on the roof as though they were dogfighting.

Lab Cleaning

So, I’m taking over as lab manager, and since I don’t have my safety training yet, I’ve spent my time trying to tidy up around the lab. So far I’ve tossed out 6 garbage cans of old papers and equipment catalogues and whatnot. There’s also an Apple II and two huge, ancient printers. There’s probably… half a dumpster’s worth of old stuff in there that needs to get thrown out? And that’s from one lab. Thinking of the thousands of labs in this university, the thousands of universities in the country, and the hundreds of countries in the world, it boggles my mind. Seriously. First, it’s amazing to think of the world’s industrial capacity, putting all that stuff out. And it’s flabbergasting to think of how much of it is off to the dumpster. Seriously. Stultus sum.

I Learn Things From Maps

The word in Turkish for ‘Morocco’ is ‘Fas’. As in the city of Fes.

EAT IT, MARRAKESHI.

Work and Videogame Problems

Friday, all of my paperwork came through at work. Well, almost all of it. I need to get a parking permit, sign up for health insurance, and go through two lab safety courses. But at least it’s all on the road now. I also got to see the lab space that I’ll be the manager of. There’s one well setup lab, and then one that seems to be more like a huge storage area. Plus, there are thousands of books down there. It looks like my OCD will be ut to constructive use arranging things.

So on non-work related subjects. I’ve been playing some videogames recently. Operation:Anchorage and The Pitt, the two expansions for Fallout III, were pretty disappointing. I mean, they were good, for the two hours each lasted. But whatever. I don’t think they were meant for high-level characters.

Point Lookout, on the other hand, ROCKS. I’m enjoying it almost as much as I enjoyed No One Lives Forever. I’m a few hours down, and it’s awesome. With one exception. It’s like a house on stilts, by which I mean it’s extremely unstable. When the framerate gets choppy, I know a crash is around the corner. Sometimes, if I stop, quicksave, and stare at the floor for a while, I can put it off. But it’s inevitable. And oh, how it crashes! Shit just locks up for dozens up dozens of minutes. Terrible!

I was really enjoying Half Life 2. It’s a much different style from Fallout, one I’d forgotten I’d liked. Anthony, that champion of gentlemen, sent me a copy of it. And it, too, was awesome. However, after showing some striders how we do it in the resistance, it crashed. Apparently, I killed a strider so hard my computer couldn’t handle it. And now, when I try and load it, it gives me some malarky about memory not being found. The entire thing won’t load. I have an idea to save it, but I’d have to start over. Sigh. Perhaps someday.

And that’s how I spend my time now.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

So, I hate nanotechnology. I fell like it’s a fad in a lot of ways, and even if it’s not, that stuff is just too small to fiddle with. That’s why like cement. Just dump that business in a bucket and go to town! I’d hate to be those people working with nanotubes, with their elaborate manufacturing processes and all that.

So, I met with the boss today. My first project is going to be mixing nanotubes into cement to improve electrical properties and enable self-sensing.

Touche. Well played, fate.

First day of work

Today was my ‘first day’ of work. All that I really did was go to meet with my new boss, pick up some paperwork, and get some files off off one of the grad students. My boss took me out to sushi for lunch. Oh, Matsu Don, how I love thee.

What I didn’t love? That I apparently have zero social graces. Do I hold the door? Do I not? Do I put the napkin in my lap? Should I not have cleaned my teeth with the chopsticks at the end? Which curse words is one allowed to use in polite conversation?

I felt like I had me a lot more to say. Oh! I needed extra decoration, so I hung up some of my Moroccan maps. Every morning when I wake up, I’ll be eyeballing rampwan Mers Sultan. Maybe it’s a good idea. It looks neat, anyway.

Dinner

So, I’ve got a few days before I start my job, and I’ve got some time on my hands. Now, I considered spending that time moping, but then I decided, I was going to cook two things I’ve always wanted to cook. Someone’s pointed out that they don’t go together, but I’ve got a full stomach that says it was awesome.

Take one acorn squash. Cut in half, discard stem. Oil baking sheet, and cook squash at 400 for 30 minutes. Take it out, pull off rind. Add one cup vegetable stock and blend until smooth. Add salt and pepper and whatever herbs you want. I added some sage and a slice of leftover bacon I had. Boil for a while, and eat it. I shouldn’t have added that bacon, but I didn’t want it to go bad.

Anyway. Take 12 chicken wings. Steam for 10 minutes. Put in fridge for 1 hour. Bake at 425 for 20 minutes. Flip pieces and bake another 20 minutes. Save whatever fat drips off for stock later. During the second baking session, combine 1/4 cup hot sauce and 3/4 sticks of melted butter. Add a clove of mashed garlic and salt. The garlic, I was surprised to see, was super important. And delicious. When the wings are done, slop on that sauce and eat it with your mouth.

Fantastic. Now, to go get plowed.

Toot Toot! Here Comes the Faux Pas Train!

I went to the university for the first time since the interview today. All of my paperwork seems to be in order, and I will get keys and cards and badges and permits and all sorts of stuff on tuesday. Fun side note: if you fill out important paperwork on your first night in a town that sells beer in the supermarkets, you’re at increased risk of listing your previous occupation as Culture Jammer. Just saying.

Anyway! They showed me my new office. First of all: WOO! I HAVE AN OFFICE! I managed not to say that when I first saw the place. If the office were an apartment in West Philadelphia, it’d be like $1000 a month in rent. There’s a Korean guy who’s going to show up next week, but still. At Drexel, we’d fit 10 people in an office like that.

I guess I’ve sold out. Which way to the tophat emporium?

Meeting the PLO

Oh. I may have mentioned this. In the last few days I’ve done a bit of exploring and a lot of shopping. And of course, the first important thing was to find a liquor store. So I find one (between a thrift shop and the dollar store, oddly) and inside two guys are speaking Arabic. I don’t understand any of it, but I keep hearing the letter 3in, which we don’t have in… well, in anything else.

So I ask the young lady behind the counter where she’s from. Apparently she was born and raised in, ugh, Portland Oregon, but she’s of Palestinian heritage.

That store is now to be referred to as the Palestinian Libation Organization.