Here’s a peice of cultural minutiae:
There are two main brands of potato chips at the local tabac (little store); Crunchips and LeaderChips. LeaderChips has an awesome mascot: a happy turtle in a tiny fez, pointy leather slippers, and a red star on his stomach. He is awesome. Crunchips do not have a mascot. However, Crunchips adhere to the international potato chip labelling code; green is sour cream and onion, orange is cheese, and red is “paprika”. We don’t have that in the US, but red is definitely supposed to denote spicy, so it fits. Leader Chips do not adhere to this standard: green aparently means “spicy”. Which means I was tricked into having red-hot potatoe chips for breakfast instead of the more healthy and agreeable green onion.
So how to judge which chips to eat? I think we should look at the ingredient list: LeaderChips are made of potatoes and Crunchips are made of broken glass. If your mouth had a face, eating a Crunchip would be the equivalent of hitting your mouth in the face with a crowbar. And then, I guess laughing at your face’s mouth’s face, because they don’t really have much flavor.
But, before we rule Crunchips out, take this into account: Leaderchips are called Leaderchips and the mascot has a red star on his stomach. And I’m not really good at reading Arabic yet, but I think the bag says “Eviscerate the Proletariat” in Arabic at the bottom. So, I don’t need to see “Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book” under the ingredients list to know what the deal is. I’ll take broken teeth and a cut up tongue over communist snack food any day.
On the other hand, they have Pringles here with flavors we don’t get in the US, such as Teksas BBQ, and they’re fantastic. There is also a knock-off brand of Pringles called Krack, and it has the memorable flavour “seafood” with a dancing crawfish on the can.
If you were expecting urbane social commentary, I apologise. As an American bachelor, there’s just some things I know more about than others.
Be seeing you.