Every day, before the evening, in which I usually get hammered and sing about the town of Elk Heart Indiana, where the wind is strong and people mind their own business, I like going through my afternoon. And before that, I like to have a morning. Anyway, the point is that this morning I escorted a young lady to the police station (she was turning herself in) and afterwards we went to the grocery store. In the parking lot of the grocery store is a huge pen holding sheep.
Now, I know I’m not a highly intelligent person. I am, however, very smart and because of this it occured to me that pens filled with live animals in the parking lot of a european-style supermarket is not an everyday sight, even in Arab North Africa. There’s a holiday coming up called Eid El Kebir (I think) where it’s traditional for every family to sacrifice a sheep. If I recall the order right, the legs get eaten the first day, the head on the third, and the actual meat type stuff in between. The fact that this holiday is coming up caused the young lady with whom I was walking to say “There’s a holiday coming up called Eid El Kebir (I think) where it’s traditional for every family to slaughter a sheep and offer it to Allah. If I recall the order right, the legs get eaten the first day, the head on the third, and the actual meat type stuff in between.” So that’s how I learned about Eid El Kebir (or in English: The Big Holiday. Not to be confused with Eid El Sghreer, The Little Holiday.)
Now this may seem strange to some people that are not used to buying a live farm animal in a parking lot and then killing it with your bare hands (which are holding a knife.) However, what struck me was not how different this custom was to my own, but how similar it was: the whole thing was like buying a christmas tree. Kids are running around, their fathers are looking over the specimens and trying to decide which one is best, everyone is wondering if it will fit on the roof of the car, so on and so forth. So what if it’s a sheep and not a tree? It’s pretty much the same as we do at home. I am beginning to think that Fox News lied to me the entire time that they’ve been telling me Arabs are nothing like us and must be tortured by the government. Hmmm.
Anyway, your homework assignment is to go to the New Deck and, once you are good and sloshed, get the open mic night guy to sing a song about Elk Heart, Indiana, where the wind is strong and people mind their own business. Not that other song. I hate that song.