The Lament of Roast Beefy O’Weefy

I am celebrating New Years with my friend Gina. Gina Ndtonic. Also, I am watching Brad Neely’s comic masterpiece, Wizard People Dear Reader. It is the greatest thing that has ever been done in the history of mankind. 

 Thinking back on it, 2007 was definitely a big year for me. I mean what with the moving to Morocco and all. I think the single biggest thing that happened was that, while sitting on a rooftop in Fes drinking a $2 litre of wine and talking to the moon, I came to the conclusion that even if I end up a total failure and the only job I can find is as a cook in some diner, I can still be happy. I don’t need to split the atom. I don’t need to be a leader of men. I can just make pickles at home and shovel snow in the winter.

That being said, I still plan to split the atom and be a leader of men. It’s just nice to know that I don’t need to be powerful or “successful” to be happy.

I have no New Years Resolutions, though I would like to be done with my Thesis proposal before 2009. Instead, I will pray a New Years Prayer: God, deliver me from Swedish Furniture and clever art. Protect me from clear skin and perfect teeth. Grant me the strength to continue wearing this stupid looking beard by which the ladies are disgusted. Grant me filthy clothes and warty skin and a clear conscience. There’s a statute in the Rodin Museum called Balzac Nude. Balzac was a huge, fat, monstrosity of a man, an absolutely disgusting slice of fatloaf, but he holds his hideous naked carcass with such proud defiance that he’s handsome. May I be more like Balzac Nude and less like the Mona Lisa every coming year. Amen.

Happy New Years, everyone!


2 Responses to The Lament of Roast Beefy O’Weefy

  1. Ed Anderson says:

    Happy New Years, Aaron!

    Oh, and make sure you’re careful with the whole atom-splitting deal. Accidental exposure may result in Superpowers and/or death.

  2. Scott says:

    Out of the many people who are reading this blag, I may be among the few who know which superpower Aaron would choose if he could have any one at all… and it doesn’t have to do so with atoms as with – a well-concealed speaker.

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