Satellite TV

So the apartment came with satellite TV. And usually there’s something good on, though I’ve not yet found out how to watch LOST. But anyway, right now a very special episode of American Idol is on. They’ve got lots of giant rock stars and stuff singing for charity.

Now, I’m not too cynical. I know that when American Idol called all  of those rock stars and asked them to be on American Idol, the superstars told them to stick it in their ear. And then the AI people said “but it’ll before charity! Think of the good publicity!” and then the superstars all lined up. Then, with all the superstars, AI got really big ratings and used those numbers to sell huge amounts of advertising and make a fortune. But, during this plan to boost their flagging show, they incidentally helped some people so I’m not against it. What I am against is their choice of celebrities. Using computer technology, they managed to combine stage performences from two artists to make it look as though they were singing a duet. The artists?

Celine Dion and Elvis.

I was unaware that the freaking DEVIL had taken over the computer graphics department at Fox. What the hell? ELVIS with Celine Dion? That’s not a musical duet. That’s a crime against culture.

Fact: More people watched Elvis’ Live From Hawaii special than watched The Moon Landing

Fact: I know nothing about music but can still name a dozen Elvis songs. I cannot name any Celine Dion songs except that one from Titanic, and that might have been Whitney Houston.

Fact: Elvis has been “dead” for more than 30 years and is still one of the top-100 highest selling artists every year.

Celine Dion doesn’t belong on stage with Elvis. She doesn’t belong anywhere near an Elvis concert, unless she has paid for a ticket. This is an absolute travesty and I know its probably years old, but damn it, I just heard about it and I’m blinded by fury. Gaaah! Elvis and Celine Dion? A crime. The end. No more discussion.

On an unrelated note I also saw The Mask. I’d forgotten how hilarious Jim Carrey’s rubberfaced fartstickery can be.

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2 Responses to Satellite TV

  1. Holzerman says:

    Dude, you’re missing out. The season premiere of LOST was, in a word, scrumtrilescent.

  2. Stephanie says:

    Have you seen any of the weird commercials by famous american actors who sell their sould by doing really cheesy commercials in foreign countries and hope that word never gets back to the States? That’s my favorite part of foreign TV. The best one I ever saw was Brad Pitt in a soda ad which had been dubbed into French. He was CGI-fighting a bunch of ninjas and somehow bested them with his good looks.

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