I gotta stop going to fast food

Saturday, after I did all my christmas shopping on the internets, I went thrift shopping. A few months ago when I was waiting to defend my thesis something in brain flipped over and now I love going to thrift stores. Again. Anyway, I decided I was going to go to the Kroger’s. That’s a grocery store here. Growing up, “Kroger” was as slur for Mexicans. It’s disorienting here. The point is, I had to buy a cupcake. I bought like 30 of them.

Anyway. I left the Kroger’s, and I drove west. I drove too far west. It turns out that the road with all the thrift stores on it is the one right outside the Kroger’s. So I went west an extra half hour more than I needed to. Let’s face it: there’s some nevernever country outside Ann Arbor. It’s like the area surrounding Point Lookout. Hell.

I stop at a Taco Bell on the way back to wherever I was supposed to be. I walk in, and the attractive young lady behind the counter says into her headset “quit talking to me, I have to go wait on my wonderful customer.”  I, a tall handsome doctor (you say) blushed like all hell. I think she understood what I was getting at: I was flattered, and I’d like to do things to her. I’ll spare you the details. As I recall, I mumbled “We’ve only just met! I think you are wonderful also, you flatterer!” To put it in context, I said this wearing a Tyrolean and a monocle. You know. My taco eating outfit.

Anyway. The young lady gave me my three tacos, my medium soda, and the ol’ eye, if you know what I mean. Later, as I am devouring those tacos with my mouth in as messy a manner as possible, you know, to impress her, she’s cleaning the tables. She’s wiping them off with antiseptic her way into my heart. Then she gets a cell phone call. For the record, she takes it by sticking the phone between her headset and her head. Like the hijabphone… but at a Taco Bell.

Anyway, she starts talking about how she got kicked out of her place two nights ago and if you (whoever was on the phone with her) can’t let her stay at your (their) place, she’s going to have to go back to her parent’s place and we don’t wnat that. I mean, she spent $78 on a hotel last night and that’s all gone now, what was the point? Anyway, her boyfriend’s not getting his security deposit back either, so they’re screwed.

When she said boyfriend, I was reminded of a certain young lady at a New Years Eve convert, who wished she’d been dancing with me instead of the meatsack with whom circumstance dictated she should attend the event. When she said she’d been kicked out, it was a reminder that no matter what you do, there’s going to be shit that’s not right. Pretty girl that calls you wonderful out on the streets? I’ve heard this song before. I know how it ends.

Boom de ah dah, boom de ah dah.


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