Computer = Over? Virus = Very Yes?

It’s been a weird week. Monday, I had to drop some samples off at the geology lab. Here’s a quick trivia fact: there is not a single campus map anywhere in the heart of U of M’s central campus. To find the lab, I had to ask a number of people, at least one of whom intentionally steered me in the wrong direction. Perhaps she somehow knew of my disdain for her keffiyah. (Note: I disdain hipsters in keffiyahs, not keffiyahs in general.)

Regardless. On the way there I began to feel woozy and lightheaded. So I stopped in a building and asked a janitor where the bathroom was. From his point of view, the encounter went something like this: I ask him where the bathroom is. He points, and I hurry off. He then hears a sound not unlike the sound a rusty tractor trailor would make trying to start in subzero temperatures. Then, he sees me stumbling down the hall, as though a man born anew, with a shock of white hair and wild eyes.

Not to be too gruesome, but I guess what I’m trying to say is I haven’t been feeling well.

I returned to my apartment, and decided to finally get all up on getting the police reports from my accident. First of all: they’re $28 apiece. My report covers only being hit; there’s like four others that cover the dude stealing the car, the car crashing, the car hitting me, etc. Also, the PPD reports are available only is bitmaps. If you’re not up on technology, neither am I, but a bitmap is the crudest, worst possible image file. I don’t expect tiffs, but hell, drop some jpegs on a citizen.

Oh. And I should mention. When I tried to save the second of the reports, my computer thought about it, then turned blue, then turned off. And now it doesn’t turn on. It loads up all the way, and as soon as the mouse cursor and little hourglass appears, it turns blue for a second and restarts. I swear, I had better be able to somehow retrieve my Fallout saves. I’m like 90 hours into that game. There’s no way I’m going to restart. At least I’ll be able to reload steam and try to keep Half Life 2 from exploding on me.

What am I doing wrong? Why are computers less stable than the ladies?


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