So! It’s Easter time, somehow the most solemn and joyous holiday on the Christian calendar, when we remember that our lord and savior rose from the dead and hid eggs in our yards. I hate talking about religion almost as much as I hate asparagus, and I’m deathly allergic to asparagus. Anyway. I just saw a Walmart commercial bragging that if you shop there, you can provide your children with bigger easter baskets, and they will thus love you more. I’d be just as annoyed at it if it were for another religion’s holidays. But at Passover time, all I remember is the grocery store stocking matzoh and that weird fish hot dog thing that has a place on every seder table. There were no commercials suggesting that you be a mensch and take a trip down to Crazy Schlomo’s for totally fokakta prices on a new or used Toyota. But I digress.
The point is, find a habitat for humanity or a soup kitchen or, if you’re the religious sort, a Salvation Army outpost, and spend your easter with your loved ones doing something practical. I’m not an authority on the subject by any means, but I’m pretty sure the good lord is happier to see you sweaty and grimy and covered in zucchini peels with a shirt stained with chicken runoff after 2 hours in the soup kitchen than neat and pretty after 2 hours in a church.