So, I’m back from vacation. Essentially, I went to Philadelphia to walk in my official graduation ceremony, and since I was already there, I flew to Turkey to visit my friend Amanda. We spent four days in Istanbul and four days in Bulgaria, including a tiny town called Veliko Turnovo, home to an enormous ruined fortress of staggering beauty. Anyway, I am exhausted, so here are some short notes to whet your appetites for more ridiculous stories later:
- In Bulgaria, no one can hear you scream. Well, they can, but it’s World Cup season, so they just stand around smoking cigarettes and assuming you’re celebrating a goal, as opposed to you’re freaked out by that spider.
- If the bartender at the hostel you’re staying at in Istanbul accidentally puts Kurdish music on the rooftop bar’s music system, the police will show up. They will be armed, and they will be praying you want to argue about it.
- Australians drink like they don’t want to live. Bulgarians drink like they don’t want YOU to live. That having been said, Raki is the most delicious liquor to ever touch my lips. And that’s saying something.
- Paris’ main airport is called Charles de Gaulle airport. I am not real good at history, but I assume he was an enemy of the state, or a serial killer or traitor or something, because no one would name such a crap shoot after anyone they liked. To get from one terminal to another instead of walking, as one would do at an airport in a civilized country designed by professionals, you take a bus to a bus station and a bus to the terminal. Whoever designed PDG can go screwez les-selves.
- During this trip Delta Airlines had the decency to send me not only on the worst flight I’ve ever been on, but the top two worst flights I’ve ever been on. If I ever have a say about it ever again, I will not fly on Delta airlines. On an unrelated note, people that take their shoes off on airplanes and walk around barefoot should be taken to the back of the plane and shot. It’s public transport, not a farm, you godless yokels.