I’m sitting here watching television. I have the windows open, because the state of Maryland is a fetid swamp, and I want to attempt to breath sometime tonight. A thunderstorm breaks, and the sound of the rain and thunder drowns out the TV. I get up, and as I’m about to close the window, I feel a deep shame. The sort of shame that bubbles up from your toenails and makes you feel like you’ve been drinking gin, all woozy and wobbly and shit. And I feel real proud, cause I go back to the couch and turn off the television, and I’m halfway through writing a blog post on the itnernet about it before I realize what a pretentious asshole I am.
Okay. So, I spent last week at a conference in San Fransisco. I’d been there before, but it’s nothing like I remembered it, probably because I got out and saw some more stuff. But this post isn’t about that. This post is to complain about Revell’s crappy models.
A long time ago, I bought a P61, and it was hard to put together and also missing a page of the instructions. And the customer service guy was surly as hell about it, and I never got the instructions. Anyway, I bought a PBY Catalina. I thought it was sort of pricey, but it looks like a big ol’ model, so maybe it’s worth it. It’s not. A bunch of the peices are missing, but little tiny pieces that I didn’t realize were missing till I’d already done the primer and some gluing. Also, the fuselage was warped. And the instructions are vague enough that I made an embarassing mistake and put the wrong number of wheels on. The wrong number of wheels!
And the paint! All the yellow paint that Testors makes sucks. It separates out. So I got a can of the spray paint, to spray the wings yellow. And it looked lovely at first. But it separates out as it dries! So I thought I’d have a nice handsome yellow (well… zinc chromate, in theory) wing, and I’ve got this splotchy mess.
I feel like I’ve been ripped off all around on this, and will make up for it by avoiding these products to the utmost of my ability. Oh! Also! Guys at Hobbyworks in Rockville, MD – if someone spends $50 in your store, and they ask if you’ve got a bathroom, you’re jerks if you don’t let him take a dump in your place. You jerks.